Friday, September 25, 2015

Having Kids: Why or Why not....



And... today  I would be writing something really controversial, something that might give constipation to many, something after which I might be thought to be crazy!

Anyways, I write what I feel...

Being married has many advantages, and the amazing and beautiful ones (uncountable, I tell you!), but one thing that I detest about this institution would be I guess that just after a year or so, everybody around you start asking about your plans for kids, and this lot include your friends as well. After a while, you start feeling as if you were married just for having kids!

And this curious question becomes more annoying when it gets transformed to "Do you have any health issues which is preventing you from having a baby?" 

And this is something not just me, but many of my friends are also going through. And now, out of compulsion I have started playing with these people who ask me this question by throwing another question at them, why... why 'should' I have kids?

And trust me the answers will amaze you like hell!

The worst or the most creative, the epic and the most different answer that I ever got to hear is: To give a reason to your husband to come back home! If there is a kid at home, he will have to come back home. He can't go anywhere. 

And trust me, when I heard this one, I don't know exactly what I wanted to do at that time: kill myself, kill the person who told me this, kill both of us or just run away far from these idiots! I mean, sorry I would never want to have a kid for  this reason! And yes, thank God for not giving me this excuse to have kids!

Another answer: To take care of you when you are old! Oh really, do you think people after some 30-40 years will even have the courtesy to look back at their parents, leave taking care of them alone. If you take an example of this generation, most of them I see, leave the house after 12th and they never look back! At least they are nice enough to visit their parents once or twice a year, call them once or twice a week, send them gifts once or twice occasionally, but then is it enough to be called as 'taking care of your parents'? No... And moreover, its hard for the parents to leave everything and settle somewhere else with their children, at that age! And the next generation will obviously be some steps ahead of us. Then, how and why should I expect, that my kid who would belong to that generation, will take care of me and my husband.

Another Answer: To have a successor, to take our family name forward. Oh yes, we are from the families of Akbar's and Einsteins that the world would lose something big and remarkable if we do not have successors!

And moreover, one has no idea how the world will be, like after few decades. It might get better because of technological advancements. But then, it will have its own bunch of larger issues to worry about as well. If you compare today with say 50 years back, there are already so many distressing changes like diseases (rather variety of diseases) are more common, Non-renewable sources are already on the verge of extinction, Natural calamities have increased by folds in just last few decades, Global warming is on a rise, most of the countries are either under war or going through cold war! I am definitely not being pessimistic or something, but then that's the truth we all have to face. The kind of damage we humans have caused to our planet in just last few decades, is beyond repair. In fact there is a theory which says that it is bound to happen, even if humans doesn't do any harm or damage because that's how it works, one species rule, gets extinct and then comes another one... 

You would be thinking what's the correlation between having a kid and the world's increasing issues. There is a bit of connotation, though. I usually jog my brain on why would I want to bring my child in a world, about which I know all this. Why should I? Will it be a better place for my kid to survive? Why would I want to bring a kid when I know s/he might have to struggle throughout, may be even for basic necessities like water? 

On the other hand, there are millions of orphans out there, who have already taken birth and so, they will have to go through all this anyways, why can't  and shouldn't I just adopt one and make this journey of him/her a little better, a little bearable? In fact just think if every couple, rather than having their own babies and contributing to the increasing population, just adopt a child, how much better the place this earth would become? I know now, its weird, wild, abnormal, insane, horrifying and synonyms of all these adjectives. But then, think rationally, I am sure, it will help us in everything. They say that the increasing population is the biggest culprit of all the nature related problems. And we would be getting rid of that culprit!

I read somewhere, how our planet would be in next 50 years and few of the pointers were:

1. The world population will be over 9 billion. Disease will be more common, as everybody will be physically closer to everyone else, and chronic food shortages may be the norm. (So, why shouldn't we at least try to control the population???)

2.We'll also have to start cutting down on our energy consumption: If humankind continues to use energy at the rate it does now, and population growth follows expected trends, we will need the equivalent of three earths to support ourselves by 2050. Which is, obviously, impossible!!!! Now, would you want your baby to go through all that crunches, all that pain? 

3. They say, as far as global warming  is concerned, the Dead Sea will be almost completely dried up, nearly half of the Amazon rainforest will have been deforested, wildfires will spread like anything and the polar ice caps will be only 60 percent the size they are now. 

4. Superhurricanes will become a regular occurrence (Last nail in the coffin!)

Imagine if we, humans are able to control the population, half of these issues will be gone! And maybe we will gain some more millenniums to live, live in a much better place, in a much better way

Its not easy to explain this to people, its not easy to tell people not to have their own children. Actually they might take it as an offense, their ego might get hurt. But if we all know, we will have to perish one day then why this arrogance, why this ego? Why burden earth with more and more people! Why killing it further...

If children is what we need, then let's adopt! We will be making someone's life and we will also be helping our planet with not over-burdening it.

P.S. The most monotonous answer to my question "Why to have kids" had been "That's how it works! That's what you are supposed to do!!! I mean, hello! Excuse me! Just because I am a woman and God has given me this power doesn't mean I am just suppose to do THIS!

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Krishna-The God who lived as Man: Bhawana Somaaya, Kaajal Oza-Vaidya (Book Review)


I never post book reviews on this page of mine. But then, recently I read an extraordinary book, the review of which I am compelled to write at whatever places i can, its that beautiful and gripping!


It would actually be an arduous task for me to hunt for words that could describe my feelings for this book! That could elaborate on how I felt after reading it... It's going to be a taxing exercise!

I generally take my own sweet time to finish books, but this one! I tell you I finished in 2 days! 

This book is, I guess the best portrayal of Krishna's life till date. It deals with his relationships with the four women whom he loved, loved intensely: Radha, Draupadi, Satyabhama, Rukmini. Unlike other epics where all his roles are confined in relation with Gokul, Kans, Kurukshetra, Gita, Arjuna etc...

In fact, the beginning of the book itself is totally different. It starts with Krishna, being on his death bed, ready to be relieved from this world, remembering all his past experiences, all the time he spent with the four women. 

The beauty of the book is the way Krishna convinces all these women, who sulk, cry and crib because of different reasons. One for his time, and the other one for not getting enough attention, one for leaving her behind and other for making her go through so many hardships and for not understanding her love for him. The way he consoles all of them and win the arguments in any case, is something to be admired and learnt! What a charmer he was...

The conversations in this book between Krishna and the four ladies is incredible! It's breathtaking! Something beyond comprehension, I guess... Beautiful would be a word too small for describing those conversations. I read them again and again and while reading I shed tears again and again! If you are an emotional person, it will make you cry! You actually wait for the dialogues to come... You feel like skipping all the explanation and directly get on to the conversations... That's powerful they are... 

The plight of Krishna, and the pain he is going through on his deathbed, ready to be relieved, but unable to, will make your heart sulk. Time and time, he is thinking of his bonds that are still there, the questions that still someone is seeking the answers to, the relationship that couldn't find closures. All these things that are not letting him embark on his final journey, that are stopping his soul to abandon his body.

He tries to call in for all the people that he was extremely close with, to clear all their doubts, if any and to make him free of all the attachments, so that his soul can leave this world 

He calls in for Draupadi, who was his friend, with whom he shared a very special relationship that was beyond everybody's understanding. The way author has described Draupadi's anxiousness, after learning that something ominous is going to happen to his friend is remarkable. I have not read something so beautiful, so real... And their last conversation is just something to be read again and again because the meaning of it is deep enough, to be not able to be understood in one go... The way Krishna describes their relationship, their love, their bond! 

Then, his last conversation with Rukmini, who always cribbed on not getting enough time from her lord! The way Krishna explains her about his love, about his passion and about her place in his life will take your breath away, it will make you fall in for this God, who lived like a man!

I would quote one thing from Krishna's explanation to Rukmini on asking about her place in his life:
"Beloved you know you are not ordinary and can never be! How can Krishna's better half be ordinary? When I narrated in Gita to Parth and said, 'Among all the elephants, I am Airavat, among trees, I am peepal, among the cows, I am Kamdhenu, among the rivers, I am Ganga and among the women, I am Rukmini' I meant it. My beloved, you are supreme!"

What a player of words, what an amazing orator! 

Last but not the least, his telepathic conversation with Radha, was enough to bring out all the emotions in a reader! It's indescribable. It's beautiful. One actually needs to read it, to understand what I mean...

There is obviously a mention of other things from Krishna's life as well, from Gokul, to Mathura, to Kurukshetra, to Pandava, to Kauravas, to Yadav's, to Balram, to Yashoda Maa, to all the incidents and people who defined Krishna's life, perfectly knitted in his stories with the four women. The former not at all dominating the later. 

And the best message of the book: Even God couldn't save himself from falling in for the human attachments. Even God is facing trouble to get rid of those. That powerful human attachments are!

And the love that Krishna describes, is beyond our capacity to decipher, is much beyond us: the mortals to comprehend!

Go ahead, read it! It's much more than amazing... 


Monday, September 21, 2015

Few questions...



Thoughts erupting like a volcano, questions arising like the waves...
... Questions about the world, about my existence, about everybody's existence...
Creating a havoc in my brain
Questions ranging from Why, what and how of my existence to where and what afterwards?
Feeling like 'am going through a hurricane... Feeling like being stuck in a turbulent whirlpool
What is it? Is something calling me? Or is it just another hallucination?
I feel contented though, but still I am craving, craving for the unknown
I feel happy though, but still am not in ecstasy
I feel like a beggar, with nothing... Just few questions! Questions for which I am seeking answers
Questions ranging from who I am, What am I doing and What is the meaning of my existence...
They don't let me sleep, they don't let me rest...
Who will answer my curiosities. Who will quench my thirst for that missing thing...
At times, I feel it's all vain... It's all futile... Or is it just a delusion of my anxious mind?
What is it? I seek enlightenment to all...
Else, my life will become a river with stagnant water, a sky without stars and the moon without scars...


Image source: https://threeriversdeep.wordpress.com/page/2/

Friday, September 18, 2015

I will show you...

Give me your heart
Like an open field
And i will show you what love is...
I will show u the raw wilderness that i carry inside my heart
And i will fill your life with happiness, spread across for miles and miles
Without a trace of resentment... Without an ounce of sadness
Give me your soul
Like an open sky
And i will show you how to fly
I will show you how to spread ur wings and take a swing in the open air
I will show u how it feels to take a leap
I will show you what love really is
And i will take you away, in the sky full of colors, happiness and joy
Leaving all the sorrows behind for the mortals...

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

I wanna see you happy


Can I ask something? Something...
Do I make you happy?
I know its not easy to answer
But still I want to know!

I just want to make you happy
Though it feels opposite at times
I wonder if I give you all that you want
And I ponder if I am the woman you desire
Will you ever leave?
Say No please...

Your happiness is all that I care about
Your smile is all that I wanna see
Your giggles are all that I wanna hear
Nothing I want, if I cant have that
Your sadness makes me wretched,
Your gloominess drenches me with dejection
I feel like taking you in my arms and holding you tight
When I see you cry, I feel like wiping away your tears forever
And I feel like giving you all that I have
To stop you from bleeding, I can take away all your pains
Just to make you smile
Just to make you happy

Even if it means to let you go...
I will, yes baby I will
I just wanna see you happy
I just wanna see you smiling
Even if I have to let you go...

Coz
I know I am not perfect
My love is not great, its selfish... Its imperfect...
I don't love you unconditionally
But I love you enough to try for all that...
And I will, one day make that happen
Till then, will you stay?

But if you wanna leave, leave... If thats where your happiness resides...
If you go away, I will wait for you
In this life and the next one too
No one I want after you
No one I desire now
Nothing I crave for...
Its just your touch that can take me to the peaks of pleasure
Its just your love that can fill me with ecstasy
Nothing can give me that joy
You are a dream come true
You are the love that I always yearned for

And so, I will wait for you
'coz eventually you will come back to me
Nobody can love you the way I do
So baby, you will come back to the imperfect me...
You will come back to me and I will wait... forever
I promise
'Coz you are my soulmate, the one my soul longs for...


Image source: http://hdwallpapers.cat/


Friday, September 11, 2015

Lets stop feeding the negative Trolls!


“Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be—or to be indistinguishable from—self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time.”
― Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon


Read a news last week... Not exactly News - News... But yeah, it was featured on NDTV website, so I referred it to News. BTW, this is one of the most misused words these days: News!

Anyways, yeah so the news was that someone tweeted to Sonakshi Sinha asking "What makes you so damn ugly?"

Keeping Sonakshi's brilliant reply apart, I was actually upset by this one question. It dragged me into thinking what's wrong with people these days? They are kind of losing all their common sense of mannerisms and the decent way of behaving in public. I mean they don't bother about crossing that thin line of not respecting someone and insulting someone. There is a subtle difference between the two, which people are just forgetting or rather not caring to remember.

We, as a society are becoming so intolerant to each other. We are filled with so much resentment and vexation, that we look out for an outlet to let it go, by spreading that negativity into other's life. And when we can't get someone nearby, we take shed of social networks to spit this negativity, this hatred on someone we don't know, we have no relation with.

And these scarcely concealed negative feelings of - Jealousy, hatred or whatsoever, are just so much reflecting in people's actions on social networks these days. They insult anyone they like, in any which way, using any derogatory words or terms.

Some people also do it for gaining a little share of popularity, like the one particular case that I mentioned above had been making a buzz everywhere on news websites, making the person who trolled quite famous!!! And you know, these people are worse than the ones, who do it in the compulsion of taking out their frustration.

You know what's the worst part? It is that these kind of things are contagious! Many others also start tweeting, posting such negative stuff! Not just that, look at the overwhelming response on these posts: they are greeted with so many other retweets and comments! Imagine if we don't share or reply to them (both anti and for), they will eventually succumb because of the lack of virality. But then as much as it sounds simple, it's hard to be inserted in different brains. There are like-minded people everywhere to support and encourage each other! They forget that today it's someone else, tomorrow it can be them!

I am definitely not commenting on the merit of whats right and whats not. It definitely depends on and differs from individual to individual, but then there are certain tacit norms on how to behave and enunciate your feelings in public. I know we are a democratic country with freedom of speech and all, but then there is a thing called respect! Respect others... It's something that is taught and given so much stress on since our childhood. Where are we dumping all that education and why? 

Rather than spreading so much negativity, so much hatred, rather than always trolling on someone, why don't we try to see good things in people, and compliment them. If we can't do that, then why don't we just restrict ourselves from minding our own business, why don't we force ourselves to keep this loathing and detestation within us.

And even if that is out of our control, if at all one can't stop the urge of screwing up someone's day, then why not do it in a decent way, a little healthier way. There are many funny trolls being circulated on Social networks. Why don't we just restrict ourselves to that kind of a form, rather than crossing the lines and insulting someone beyond a limit?

Remember the trolls on Alia Bhatt, after answering that one question wrong on Koffee with Karan! We declared her dumb, we labeled her with so many insulting terms. There were so many trolls on Sonam Kapoor for using the word misogynistic in her tweet against the meat ban recently! What's wrong in that? BTW, she cleared it off in her later tweets. But even if she made a mistake, its ok! These guys, who poke dirty fun at others/ celebrities don't commit any mistakes? Oh, then they must be from the kinds of Hulk, Superman, Batman (or Shaktiman!) Simply put, they might be super human beings because only then it is possible to not commit any mistake.

It's insane to be so insensitive and inconsiderate. We are driving our society also on the same path. Today social networks are filled with negative things, things filled with hatred, hostility, bitterness than positivity and happy stuff!

Lets spread happiness, smiles, lets share good and beautiful things, lets spread positivity or let's make fun of others in a healthy and acceptable way, lets make our social world a better place to exist! Is it that difficult?

P.S There is an exception to the above said things: Rahul Gandhi!