'Ab hume aur kuch nahi chahiye bhaisaab, bus ladki sundar aur saaf rang ki ho'
Translation: 'We do not expect anything, just that the girl should be beautiful and should have fair color'
This is something that my parents recently have got used to listening to. But you know they (the bride-seekers) begin with saying hume aur kuch nahi chahiye, but the list goes on and on, its never ending. At times, I wonder if they are really strong believers of Superheros, I mean that is why they look out for a Superwoman!! Right?
Anyways, so let me just put down few of very common demands/ qualities that the family of the groom look in, while searching for a 'suitable'
1. Sundar aur saaf rang (She has to be beautiful and of fair color): The MOST important and mandatory thing! If this is not there, the below list stays futile.
2. Padhi Likhi ho (Should be well educated)
3. Khana banana aata ho (Should know cooking)
4. Ghar ke kaam-kaaj kar leti ho (should be able to do household jobs)
5. Shaadi ke baad job karle aur hamare bete ki zimedaariyaan baant le (Should take up a job after marriage and share our son's responsibilities)
6. Seedhi saadhi ho (should be simple )
And as I have already mentioned above, the list goes on and on and they all always seems to end the conversation with an extension of the same epic dialogue, "Ab hume aur kuch nahi chahiye, bus jo aapka man kare apni ladki ko dede!"
Translation: 'We do not expect anything, you can give whatever you wish to your daughter'
This is a typical conversation that happens between families trying to search suitable grooms and brides for their sons and daughters respectively!
I know, everybody thinks we have passed on that old phase. But have we? These are conversations that I am quoting from many recent rendezvouses that my parents had in the last few months, in an urge to find a suitable groom for my sister. And these guys that I am talking about are very well-educated: Engineers, MBAs, Doctors and few IAS officers as well. However, my parents have given up on PCS, IAS and IPS officers, because the kind of demand that they make for money, at times goes in crores and is definitely impossible to be met by a regular Government servant! Sometimes, I feel they study hard for the day they can be paid for it. Believe me, I feel like thrashing these educated illiterates who does not have guts to stand in front of their parents and say NO for taking a dowry!
My sister turned 25 this year, which made her extremely vulnerable to everyone's attention. She has kind of given a tedious job to everyone in our huge family, who now only worries about her future, if in case she doesn't get a suitable groom.
I started writing this post, not for mentioning the demands that groom's family make, but to highlight the saddened situation we, as a society are trapped in! We are living in a delusion that we are progressing, but still a huge part of our society is living in the same conventional world, where fair color is considered beautiful (and is above all the traits that a girl should have), where groom's family still holds an upper hand, where groom's are sold blatantly without any regrets, where girl's parents have to agree to all the demands of the opposite side.
And you know the worst of all the demands, I find is the one with this weird, imbecile and foolish fascination towards the color of the skin... There has to be a stop to this foolish 'fairness' crusade. Somebody needs to slap and make these 'educated illiterate' people wake up to the realisation that more than anything else, its the girl's thinking that makes her beautiful!
And we say we are progressing... Are we?
P.S. These are not fake or made-up things. These are the ones that I am quoting from my parent's very recent experiences while searching for a match for my sister! Yes, in this era. They do happen...
P.P.S. ... happen very regularly and shamelessly