Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Commoditization of grooms!


There is a cousin of mine who is on the verge of crossing her marriageable age, well at least according to all my relatives and acquaintances. BTW, she is just 25! That can be another topic of discussion! Rather 'hot' topic of discussion. But let's leave it for some other time for now.

The lame marriage Interview!
Anyways, yeah so all our family members have this unstated, tacit and grave responsibility to hunt for a suitable groom for her. Last week, followed by this imperative call and need of the hour, few of the family members went to meet a guy and his family.

I was simply shocked to death to know what happened there because I just haven't expected this in times like today when I thought everything and everybody have changed.

The guy's family dint ask anything about the girl, apart from the very basic questions, the answers of which they were already aware of. Yes, because the answers of few penned (in an invisible diary!) questions are inevitable to be revealed before even any such talks begin.

Anyways, so they made no efforts to show any kind of curiosity in knowing anything special about the girl who apparently would become their daughter in law! Questions like what does she like, what her hobbies are etc. They did not even take any pain in describing the kind of girl they are looking forward to or at least the kind of qualities they would love their daughter in law to possess.
This was about the parents and other family members.  Now coming to the boy, strange it is to say and to know that even he had no questions pertaining to his future wife!

Now, the important question that arises here is that what did these two families discussed then. Obviously if two families are meeting with such huge a purpose like this, they would have certainly not sit quietly. They would have spoken about some imperative stuff. Right? Well, let me tell you what important things they had to talk and ask about:

Their son had been to London And they bragged about it for hours!

Their daughter was in US and they again boasted about it.

Is going to London and US such a big deal in today's world????? And if that is a big deal for you Sir, it shows your standards!

Their son gave them some huge amount of money after coming back from London.

Apart from all the monotonous bragging and boasting, below were the things that made a important part of the discussion:

They were looking forward to one thing: the wedding has to be done in a way that it should uphold their honor in the society (what does that mean???) Well, it simply means to give them good amount of stuff, in materialistic terms, so that they can show off how worthy their son is.

Gold jewelry to be given to a daughter is an unavoidable expense. But still, they wanted to know how much would we be able to afford!

A luxury car for our girl, not for them off course! They wouldn't use it at all!

They dint want anything in dowry (woww, applause...) Come on, what they asked for is not dowry, they are customary gifts, a part of the wedding routine of our enriched culture!

And the discussion just went through all this. They did not even care to ask anything about the family.

Sorry state of our society
I wonder whats wrong with people? They have no self respect left. They don't mind begging and imploring for materialistic things in exchange of their son. Well, its not even a fair exchange! Here, a daughter leaves her parent's house, not a son and even, for that they need their houses to be filled with luxuries. At times, I feel like these kind of families start assessing and calculating the value of the sons, the moment they are born. Or is this the reason why few people crave for a son?

There is a kind of competition out there. Believe me! And that too a very hilarious one. One fat aunty sitting outside her house, on the road, would brag to all the ladies in the neighborhood  'Our son got this much cash, and this huge a car and a washing machine and a fridge and blah blah... (the list would be never ending)'. Another one would scream "Oh! My son also got a sofa, bed, scooter, dining table, dressing table and blah blah with all this".

I feel astonished were they living without all these basic things, all these essential necessities and waiting for their sons to get married and were expecting their daughter in law to flood their houses with all these luxuries? Oh yeah? I just have one word for this...  Disgraceful!

Why don't they beg and brag about more useable things like utensils, table, chairs, spoons, soaps, buckets, toilet brushes, tissue papers, towels, mops etc? They should... Right?

And instead of feeling disgraced and embarrassed, these families are swollen with pride! They show all these  possessions to the complete world with so much smugness as if they have earned it! Oh yeah, they have actually earned it by selling their son. And these materialistic things are kept on an exhibition for everyone to witness!

It's just not old generation!
To get this crappy thing from old generation is still explicable. I mean its expected out of them but what about people from this generation. I am actually feeling furious about that idiotic son of theirs! Did I mention that this idiot is very well educated and is employed in one of the largest MNCs and resides in a metro city. Yes! Can you believe it?

What is the use of studying and working in a MNC, if you can't have basic common sense and profound approach and awareness for such perceptive and sensitive things.

Must I mention that these idiots are just simply delinquents and crooks? I wish there was some law against anti-social and reckless thinking! Guys, please stop begging and at least have the self respect of earning materialistic things on your own.

Do you even realize how much pain it is for few parents to get their daughters married? Many of them would have to take a loan to fill your house with these comforts and then, their complete life goes off in paying off that loan! Bizarre demands like these from ridiculous people like you compel a daughter to become a burden on her parents! Stop it guys. What is the difference between a man asking for dowry to get married and a prostitute asking for money to have sex?

Are few materialistic things bigger than your ego, your self-respect? They will die away with time eventually and its just your respect that's going to survive. Make a choice: An honor that will remain with you forever or few materialistic things that would just last for few years or may be few decades.
Come on make a sensible, intelligent, reasonable, admirable and a praiseworthy choice. A choice that would help you to keep your head always high, that would compel this world to admire you, to respect you, a choice that would make you earn your honor.

BTW, our family came back with a loud and very strident NO. Every dowry demand (directly or indirectly) is a death threat. Walk away! Rather run away!

Keep smiling:)

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