Monday, November 4, 2013

Jealousy



I often hear people labeling Jealousy as a bad trait. I mean from childhood, we are being taught and fed about the huge difference between two kind of things. Yes, good things and bad things. Everything in this world is divided in just these 2 buckets: Good and bad! And generally Jealousy is being dumped into the later category.

But is it really that bad? Now, you will very conviniently answer "it depends on the situation". Yes, true. It really depends on the circumstances and the situation where one feels jealous. But isnt it a normal human trait? Isnt it something that is wired into our hardware? The quantity depends on  individual to individual.

But wouldnt you think about the other side of jealousy? You feel jealous when someone you love goes around with someone else or cares about someone too much or even if someone takes care of them. Yes, you feel jealous. Why in the world is that considered so wrong? It simply means you love the person so much that you just want him for yourself. You care about him to such an extent that you dont want to share them with anyone else. Now, whats wrong with that? Would you feel jealous for anybody walking on the road doing the same? Or fine, lets take a more refined example. Would you feel jealous for even your friends going around with someone? No, you wont.
 Then, feeling jealous for that someone special is natural. I can bet it and even saints can be tested for that and it just indicates that you love the person too much to let him go to someone else. Period!!!

BTW, I am not here trying to defend the whole jealousy thing. Just trying to show the little good and cute side of it. And over-doing of anything can spoil the whole stuff. Jealousy is actually like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor but too much can spoil the taste.

So, keep it nice and sweet because a real relationship has fights, trust, faith, tears, pain, arguments, patience, secrets, jealousy and love. So, feel jealous, just dont let it kill your relationship. Jealousy is actually a sign that shows how much you care or love someone:)

And BTW, even the person on the other end feels good and enjoys this jealousy because isn't it always good to know that someone is afraid to lose you?

Yes, I feel jealous
And I admit that
I feel jealous of every girl 
That talks to you even for a single second
I feel jealous of every girl 
That makes you feel special even for a single second
I feel jealous of every girl
Who mattered to you even for a single second
I am jealous of every girl 
That hugged you even for a single second
'Coz for that one second,
She had the feel of my entire world
'Coz of that one second,
My whole world revolved around her
But as they say, if you dare to fall in love
Jealousy is surely the first casualty

This is what we are...

I have 2 cute younger sisters. And as they are growing up, I am bound to notice so many similarities that we share. Actually, on widening my approach, I could see some or the other part of me in every girl I know. And I thought I am different! hahhh... Such an illusionary thought you had gal!

Anyways, guess there is a set of qualities that every normal Indian girl inherits. There is a set of things that you will find all of us doing. Somewhere or the other, we all are same. Yes, we are!

At teen age, you will find us extremely shy but also, audacious enough whenever required. You will find us clutching the books in our hands with a backpack, looking down and walking on the road quietly towards college.

You will find us giggling and laughing with our group of friends. You will find a quest in us, a crave to see and feel the outer world. You will see the bright sparkles of our dreams in our eyes. You will find us dreaming about our bright future more often. You will find us locked in our rooms, disconnected from the outer world, for our studies.

You will find us watching DDLJ, Pretty woman, Runaway bride and many other romantic comedies again and again, sitting on a couch with tears in our eyes feeling the exact pain of those lovers getting drifted apart. You will find us drooling silently over Sharukh Khan, Hugh Jackman, Jude Law and all the hot hunks out there. You might also find their postcards/ pictures hidden inside the covers of our books. You will find us having a new crush everyday. You will find us loving someone discreetly. You will find us writing his name with all the hearts and decorations.

You will find us helping our moms in the kitchen for every single meal. You will find us keeping fast for the well being of our family. You will find us visiting temples and doing all the pujas religiously. You will find us shaking a leg over hard English numbers secretly in our rooms. You will find us watching cricket, tennis or football with our dads or brothers and enjoying it immensely. You will find us pampering our siblings to the limit of spoiling them. You will find us loving our families like nobody else.

You will find us blushing to know about someone who likes us. You will find us chuckling on getting teased. You will find a tender innocence in us.

You will find us making sacrifices at each and every step of our lives and not making a hue and cry about it. You will find us getting married to the man accepted by our families. You will find us fulfilling each and every wish of everyone in our families. You will find us getting emotionally connected with everything in our homes. You will find us doing things to woe people around us. You will always find us making attempts to keep everyone smiling and happy.

You will often find us feeling alone and lonely. You will often find us thinking about this strange thing called marriage where we are sent away from our parents. You will often find us cribbing about this injustice. You will often find us craving to go back to our old lives, to our families. You will often find us crying in the nights silently. You will again find us smiling next day. You will find us hiding everything behind our smiles.

You will find us giving ourselves totally to the person we love. You will find us doing all sort of weird things to make and keep them happy. You will find us creating our world around them.

You will find us getting successful in our careers. You will find us creating such an amazing balance between our families and work. Still, you will find us unfulfilled and unhappy with everything around. You will find us often wondering at our lives.

You will find us longing for love. You will find us yearning for respect. You will find us looking out for someone who would love us wholeheartedly. You will find us often searching for something. You will find us discontented. You will find us moody. You will find us intolerable at times. You will find us craving to get free. You will find a passion in us for flying and touching that blue sky. You will find us staring at the sky in dark nights. You might often find us unreasonable. You will find us jealous. You will find us envious at times.

You will find us doing things for ourselves too. You will find us reading one of our fav books. You will find us shopping and spending all the salary on something we really liked. You will find us wearing our fav pair of jeans and tee. You will find us wearing different and weird colors all over. You will find us going out with friends for a drink. You will find us screaming, shouting and dancing on one of the theque's floor. You will find us giving a damn to the world. You will find us confident. You will find us doing things that we love.You will find us looking straight into the eyes of the world.

You will find us brightening your day with a giggle. You will find us pampering you and loving you. You will find us everywhere. Yes, this is what we are, this is who we are!

She is shy,
She is bold,
She is loving,
She is caring,
She is tender,
She is tough,
She is conventional,
She is contemporary,
She is simple,
She is flamboyant,
She is calm,
She is loud,
She is lovable,
She is harsh,
She is sober,
She is gaudy,
She is gentle,
She is strong,
She is innocent,
She is matured,
She is a woman,
Filled with beauty and warmth

Sunday, November 3, 2013

At peace with myself

Finally I am relaxed!

Yep, was going through a very stupid phase of life. Actually I should say was going through a torturous phase. I am now, kind of out of it.

At times, I feel is it my crazy brain that creates this hallucinations of "bad" phases? or these phases are a reality? I mean why in the world would my 'own' (hope so!) mind create such delusion to torture me? But anything is possible with me...

I always describe myself as a very strong person who hates to reveal things going inside her mind, heart and life to the world. I am truly a champion in hiding all the thoughts and emotions behind my cute smile:) But still there are few devils in my life who can see beyond that smile!!! Its both a blessing and a curse. Blessing because I am lucky to have such caring people around me for whom I, my feelings and my emotions really matter. Curse because dude, they kill me/ torture me till the time I don't reveal the complete reason to them! And I hate to tell all my inner feelings to anyone because at times, they are evil, cruel and make me sound so obnoxious!

Guess, the problem with me is I am very stubborn when it comes to feelings and emotions! I just hate to settle down with anything less than what I deserve. Yes, I am quite an adamant crazy creature when it comes to relationships.

People generally give me this advice of "not expecting anything from others". I mean, oh yeah? Really... How do one do that? Not expecting anything from people whom I love? Not expecting anything from relationships where I give my 100%? How and why? Is'nt this a fallacy? Come on, I am not a saint, I am a normal human being with bones and flesh and normal human tendencies. Is'nt it a human tendency to expect? And so, bound to that I do... And always end up getting hurt!

Anyways, I am on the way of making peace with myself. No, I am not at all on the way of becoming a saint. I am just too selfish to leave this materialistic world. I am far too much in love with this world, with its ways, with all the colors, with all the beauty, with all the life. Nahhh, I cant leave all this, not for anything! I am an ardent fan of life and its beauty.

With making peace with myself, I meant to say I am trying to make my heart and brain learn to adapt themselves with the ways of people around me. No, that really doesnt mean I am going to compromise or anything. Will just kind of try to sort out things in my head and rather than torturing myself, will try to smile and let it go:)

Thats the way it should be.

I just hate to screw up my precious days in thinking and going through shit. I mean, its such a small life where every day, every hour counts. I hate to waste even a single min in depression:) At the end, I am going to take only the smiles, laughs and good things and not these screwed up times! So, time wasted is wasted forever and I cant allow that to happen with me:)

Keep smiling and yes, Happy Diwali. Have a noise free, sweet filled, brightening Diwali